When I was in my 20’s it was easy for me to lose weight. Keeping it off was always a problem, but losing it wasn’t difficult. I remember times when I lost 8 to 10 pounds in one week. As I think back now, the diets all seem to meld into one another. I was obsessed with my body image and used my obsession as a “distraction technique” for not dealing with emotional issues in my life. There was always a diet going on. As I reached my 30’s, it became a little harder to lose the weight. Through the years there was always at least 15 pounds that I needed to shed. Sometimes it was more like 20 pounds, and when I hit my 30’s, it occasionally crept up to almost 30 pounds of excess weight! I was on every “FAD” diet there ever was, at one time or another. There was the ‘Army’ diet, that was popular in the 1970’s and had absolutely nothing to do with the Army. One specific type of food was allowed per day but nothing else. Bananas one day, salads the next, etc., etc. The ‘Cabbage Soup’ diet allowed for as much cabbage soup as you could eat, and once again, only one food item on each consecutive day. The ‘Zone Diet’, dealt with “meal ratios” and followed a formula of 40% carbs, 30% proteins and 30% fats at every meal. The ‘South Beach Diet’ reminded me of a loose variation of the ‘Atkins Diet’. Then there were the ‘diet workshops’ and the ‘diet centers’ that included a weekly “weigh-in” and mini “counseling session” and charged a hefty weekly rate. But the easiest weight loss of all, and the most dangerous, was my experience with ‘diet pills’. This weight loss method would also turn out to be the hardest to let go of. A co-worker referred me to a doctor she knew of who would evaluate my weight loss “problem” and I, innocently enough, made an appointment to see what he would suggest. His suggestion? Pills. Amphetamines. Speed. I didn’t really know what that was at the time. I quickly suspected something was making a “big” change in my body when I was no longer hungry and actually had to try to remember to eat something during the day. That had never happened to me before in my life. But I was happy at first. I had a NEW life, where food wasn’t the focus. I also had a tremendous amount of energy, even though I couldn’t get to sleep at night. The doctor had seemed professional enough. He had asked me all of the right questions. What did I eat? What were my “problem” foods? How much weight did I want to lose? He seemed sympathetic and even went over a nutritional ‘hand-out’ that was given to all of his patients on their first visit. Then, he handed me what would become the only reason for me to come back to him month after month. That little piece of paper…my prescription for “legal” drugs. As I look back now, I realize that although I was getting my pills from a “doctor”, I was hooked on “drugs” and my insurance was paying for them! It probably took about a year before I realized, and admitted to myself, what was really happening. I had shed my 20 pounds of excess weight and more. But my personal life was falling apart and I was exhausted and felt ill most of the time. One day I went to fill my newest prescription at the local pharmacy and the pharmacist took me aside and told me that he had heard of my doctor and that he had a “bad reputation”. He told me the drugs I was taking were bad for me and that I should stop going to this “quack”. That was the beginning of the end of my diet pill experience. I knew this had to stop. It was difficult to let go of this weight loss “crutch” and I fell off the wagon a couple of times and went back for more pills over the next year. But finally, I was able to kick this dangerous “habit”. A year later, the 20 pounds were back.
When I was 31 years old, I woke up one morning violently ill, running to the bathroom every 15 minutes to throw up. I was so ill I couldn’t even drive myself to the E.R.. Certain that I had food poisoning, I had a friend drive me to the hospital, where tests were done, and I was given medications and sent home to rest while the results came in. Hours later, a nurse from the E.R called to tell me to stop the meds. immediately. I was PREGNANT! My husband and I had tried for 10 years to get pregnant. We had gone through all of the infertility craziness and had finally given up. I was in shock, and I was ecstatic! Nine months later, I had put on 38 pounds of pregnancy weight on top of the 20 pounds of extra weight I’d always carried. I delivered a BEAUTIFUL baby girl, that weighed 7lbs. 1oz., and immediately shed 15 pounds at the delivery. The other 23 pounds of pregnancy weight would stay with me for a LONG time! Now I was 43 pounds overweight!
Tags: Diet Pills, Fad Diets, Pregnancy, Weight Loss Journal #4
